It's taken a while but better late than never eh?! Finding a PC that doesn't hang or lose power in Africa has been a mission. This 'amazing' thing called the 'internet' is somewhat slightly beyond the mud huts and long drops of East Africa. Nonetheless, I'm online now so time to bring it!
This is going to be long so instead of putting it in the 'read later' folder, just print and take it for some good toilet reading…
Kenya – we flew into Nairobi. Note to self: no need to tip local 10USD to lift your bag from the trolley into the van. That is one weeks wages for them, so tall white boy was Christmas and Birthday all in one! Then your driver notices how much you foolishly tipped the local and expects more for his 3hr wait in Arrivals for the fog delayed flight. 20USD later, crisis in my wallet!
We stayed the night in what must be Nairobi's worst room – en-suite might I add! There were four walls and a roof but that didn't make up for the 1% finished rubble pile they boasted was the 'ensuite'. This luxury can be found in the Nairobi Camp Site if you ever swing by.
The rest of the overland crew we were going to be traveling with were already there and were well stuck into the local brew – Serengeti. Good beer by the way. I think it was at that point in my life where I made a critical decision – one that has changed my life in so many ways. I would try every beer each country had to offer, twice!
Our crew consisted of: 4 Ausi's, 2 Kiwi's, 8 Pommes, 1 Welsh, 1 token Yank, 2 Spanish, 1 Safa and 1 Zim – yeah baby! Oh - a Kenyan guide, Kenyan Driver and an Ausi trainee driver.
A good bunch all in all, could have been worse – 18 Ausi's!
Our overland truck was this big green 4x4 with roll up plastic windows and side loading lockers. It worked out quite well as you had more space in the seated area for things like flying footballs and countless games of Shithead. Some of the seats faced each other with a table in between and others were just forward facing. Oh and we had tunes! Three speakers we could connect our iPods to. Nothing like pumping 'In the Jungle' when you're at a rural town with locals insisting they can sell you rusty copper bracelets!
Although I'm born and bred in an African country, I still somehow forget how amazingly un-logical and damn right stupid Africans can be! Hence an expression that we used all the way down: T.I.A – This Is Africa! Anything goes wrong or off schedule, the move is to shrug your shoulders and blame stupidity!
So the plan on Day 1 was to be ready to go at 9am and we must have eaten, packed up and passports ready. 12pm we leave. The bus only arrived at half 11 – no excuses given. I could see we were going to have to leave our London mentality behind very fast to stay sane!
Our first stop was a supermarket to stock up on supplies. It reminded me of the old TM supermarkets we got in Zim - small, under stocked and dirty. Fantastic! Beans on bread for lunch! You can't be sure if the food is washed or not and to avoid early dribbly bum we decided to only go for processed foods at first…
From there we drove what seemed for ages before we got to the border. It was a good time to mozy round the bus and meet everyone else. They had all been together for a couple of weeks before up in Uganda - seeing the gorillas. One group managed to find the wrong group of 'Guerillas' and found themselves naked, walking back through the jungle to the border post. Crisis!
Back to the border post – this can only be described as chaos. One run down building ran by people dressed as though they'd been out all night, for a week! Smelt like armpit.
We got our passports done then this dodgy chap called 'friend' jumps in the back with us. He's there to change money and actually gave us quite a good rate. It seems things like money in Africa is dealt with prison style – i.e. you-saw-nothing! All done under the table. You have to laugh.
We head now through vast open grasslands and rolling hills. It's all very green and most of the farmlands are looking ready to be harvested. Every now and then you'll see this lone man with a spear walking along, in the middle of no-where! Apparently they are this tribe called the Masai and that's what they do! Walk! Ands spear things!
We pass 'Circumcision mountain' where the Masai send their women for two weeks. Strange lot!
This takes us into the city of Arusha. Looked very Similar to Nairobi, run down, dirty, poor. We stay at the Masai Campsite and the Spanish cooked Carbonara for dindins. Get-in-ma-BELLY!! The bar area was very nice and of course I had to sample it – Kilimanjaro was the beer of choice here.
The next day was the start of a 3 day trip to Ngorongoro crater, Ngorongoro Conservation Area and the Serengeti. We left our overland truck and split up into 3 Land Cruisers. These things were not of this earth! They could literally go over anything – at top speed. Pot hole was not in its vocab!
We left Arusha and pass through the rift valley. Very impressive. It's a fault line that runs right down from Uganda and is a good few hundred meters deep. Past that was the Ngorongoro Crater, simply one big hole in the ground. So big though, it's 21kms in diameter, 600m deep and is home to nearly every animal in the area. We stopped at a view point to take pics before we pushed on into the conservation area.
The Ngorongoro Conservation Area is the area of land set aside for the Masai to live in harmony with the wild animals. It borders on the Serengeti and as there are no fences, all the animals roam freely. The Masai therefore have to constantly be aware of Lions and other predators, and hence why they roam around with spears. The Masai however, do not live in the Serengeti, that is just for the animals.
As you come over the rim of the crater and start ascending, the landscape starts to drop away into vast open grasslands. It is quite breathtaking and you do find yourself feeling very small in comparison. The open plains are home to hundreds and hundreds of animals, vast herds of Zebra and Wildebeest, Giraffe, Elephant, Hyena, Lion, Thompson Gazelle and many other buck. We past a huge herd of Giraffe (61 in total) that were on the move and it was fantastic to watch them running by. It was like something out of Jurassic Park!
The Serengeti (means Endless Plains) was as it's name says – endless. When we reached what must have been the middle, it was literally grass in all directions as far as the eye can see. The cameras were not doing it justice!
Our campsite that night was in the middle of no where! No fences, nothing! There were a couple of toilets which I will have to describe – they were up there with the worst toilets – ever! Long drops inside a closed brick building. The smell inside was so rank, it was a case of take a deep breath, PUSH, and run! Good fun to watch though!
It was clear that night and without any city lights, the sky was glowing with stars. And so clear. You forget living in the big cities what such clear skies look like.
Early morning game drive – once you get past the sleep in your eyes and concept that it is possible to get up before sunrise, the game out and about that early are worth the effort. We saw a Leopard chilling in a tree, a pack of female lion, tones more Zebra and Wildebeest, hippo, crocs, African Eagle, etc, etc, yawn!
After lunch we head back to the Ngorongoro Crater, making camp on the rim. It was really windy and our tents weren't holding up very well. Some very unhappy women! But – they had warm showers, making it all ok again! The wind died down and we had another late night campfire session. More Kilimanjaro beer, nyum nyums!
Into the crater! On route we passed a very funny sight. Two buffalo in the middle of the road. We get past without incident and as we round the corner there is this Masai dude hiding behind the bush pooping himself. Got a great pic of him prairie dogging these buffalo!
We descend the 600m crater wall and drive down to the salt lake – scattered with Pink Flamingo. Around us are more Zebra, Wildebeest, lion, bull elephants, white rhino, eland, it was out of this world. Our truck and another had a very hairy moment with a herd of 16 bull Elephants. They were about 10m away and the daddio decided to come over and let us know who-was-the-daddy! Even our driver was cowering in his seat praying to the Gods! It made for some great photo's but also a change of shorts!
We spent most of the morning driving around the crater taking is all the sights. The climb out was quite spectacular too, a very steep road which our Land Cruiser was humbled by. Pips pooped her pants, again.
We pack up camp and drive back to Arusha, stopping in at a Masai village on the way. We got a quick tour round their mud huts and local school, then got a sample of some of their dances and customs. They do this funky jumping dance whilst chanting 'whoop whoop' very loud. The higher you jump, the more of a man you are. We had no chance – white men just can't jump!
That night back in Arusha, it was time to have a good piss up! After a round of Springboks, the flood gates opened! More beer, shots, and more shots, and it was arm wrestling time! No trip is complete without finding out which guy is the daddy! I won the first round, then my perfectly tanned and toned bicep called time! It was all downhill from there. I was very impressed to find myself with two eyebrows and all the hair on my head the following morning. Hangover – 8/10
We leave Arusha and have a short drive to the Kilimanjaro Base Camp. Top Tip: if you stop off for lunch at a local restaurant, don't go for the Fish heads and boiled banana special. It sucks.
I went on an organized walk through the banana plantations and local village to this waterfall. We had a great guide and it was very interesting to hear how they live up there. It one for all and all for one. Everyone chips in to make sure they all live as comfortably as each other. Maybe they should document it and sell the idea to the rest of the world!
It was pretty cloudy that night so didn't get a good view of the summit. The campsite was part of a local hotel which normally would get great views.
From Kili, we drive to Dar Es Salam. This is a another large run down city, very poor looking and hundreds of people just sitting around doing nothing. Quite scary actually.
We stayed at this old hotel on the beach, it could have been such an awesome place but was left to get so run down. We went for a swim in the Ocean but the seaweed everywhere made for a quick retreat. Disappointing. The bar area out front was great so we chilled there most of the night. Tried some of the local Sheesha and it sucked. Bring on Zanzibar!
After waiting for 3hrs in the baking heat for the a/c to be fixed, we finally board the fast ferry to Zanzibar. It took 2hrs which flew by, thank goodness! We arrive in Stonetown and check into a hostel. Finally – a bed! That night we ate at the local fish market. The food was great, tried the local pancakes, which are more like omlettes. The only problem was the guys trying to sell you their food. Non stop in your ear. How there wasn't a murder that night I don't know! Late night beers were consumed at this place called Africa House. Great for watching the sunset at. And great for Sheesha! Mmmm
The next morning we did the tour of Stone town. Included a visit to the local food market – some very smelly fish and some very unusually large bananas! We did a tour of the old slave pits and the old fort where they were traded. V interesting. Pips went on a spice tour which included a coconut tree climbing guy which I was bleak to have missed. Instead I decided to head to the other side of the island and check ourselves into 3 days of luxury! We were booked into the Nungwi Inn, a resort right on the beach, with the best food ever, and great waves. I burnt my back to a crisp that afternoon attempting to perfect the 'whale' body surfing technique!
We spent those 3 days mostly chilling out on the beach, swimming, eating, drinking loads, and oh, how could I forget: first hour I get there, cleverly step on a sea urchin - barefoot. Some local guy called F.B.I used his local remedy to try and stop the throbbing pain – kerasin and pawpaw juice! It worked though, the pain stopped but the barbs remained firmly wedged in my foot. Great!
Oh, and our room, room 13, had a massive spider inside the mosquito netting and a scorpion under the desk. Who the heck did we wrong!?!?!
From Zanzibar we headed back to our campsite in Dar Es Salam. Not very happy to be back there again but it was only for a night. And what a night, it must have been one of the hottest I can remember! My poor sleep sheet!
We leave Dar early and spend a long day traveling through Tanzania to the Malawi border. Baked beans in a roll again for lunch – man we are LIVING the life!
The border was just as messed up as the Kenyan side, total chaos! And another shady guy changing money with us in the back of the bus!
Shortly after the border we made camp, cooked, ate and crashed. Everyone so tired from the long day. We spent most of it playing the card game Shithead too. You lose more than 5 times and you earn yourself a 'dirty pint' later. Crisis I lost 7 times. O Boy!
A short drive later and we arrive at Chitimba camp site on Lake Malawi. Not too shabby! It has a great bar area, very important, and the loos are clean. All we can ask for really!
That night we experienced our first real African rains, they came down cats and dogs, and elephants! Good thing we were too drunk to notice! A couple of the tents needed moving out of the newly formed rivers though. This thing about finding high ground to pitch your tent really is true!
We spent two nights at that campsite, which was nice as another long day on the road would have sucked big time. It had a volleyball court which us strapping lads decided to show our best moves on. Definitely helps being over 6 foot in that game, and you are everyone's friend!
Another full days driving brings us to our best campsite yet, and I can't remember the name of it. It's on the lake somewhere south, eee. And it has a pool, now it's time to show off some moves! It seems if you are from England, the only bomb you should know how to do is the John Smith! The Ausi version, the kamikaze, wore the pants.
The manager was not so impressed though, and kindly asked us not to use the pool loungers as surf boards. What?!?!
We had great plans to snorkel and go paddling and go for walks at this beach, but after all the traveling, we spent most of the time just lounging around the campsite. The sign at the gate "Beware of Crocodiles" put us off a little too. We never saw any crocs but the sign was always in the back of your mind.
News came through that the road in Zambia to the game park was closed, so our 2 day safari there was cancelled. We needed a new plan, and quick! But who should we turn to, who would save us? I would! ;-D Kariba baby yeah! We checked up about campsites and hiring house boats and it was game on. Everyone was v keen on that idea.
We leave Lake Malawi and briefly pass through Lilongwe before crossing the border into Zambia. Spend a night in a small campsite just over the border.
Onto Lusaka, and of course, our truck breaks down. We manage to find a campsite for the night, and as everyone is pissed off about not getting to Kariba on time, it's Dirty Pint time. Crisis, everyone got mashed, and to top it off, Zimbabwe managed to sneak a draw against Ireland – a non cricketing country. The shame!
Truck gets fixed and we finally make it to Kariba. Fan-freaking-tastic! Our campsite rocks, we organize a boat to go fishing on the next day and a visit to the dam wall. So glad to be back on the lake again. The fishing sucked, I think we might have caught 3 small bream, and a tan, but no tiger! I sunk a few cold Castle though, which was a result!
The campsite had a great bar and that was another huge night. Some of the locals joined us till all hours, some serious characters coming out the woodwork!
From Kariba we push through to Vic Falls, Zim side. Our final stop on the trip. Once again we stayed in the local campsite, although it was a lot better than I had thought. And once again, we changed money under the table with some very shady characters.
I did a half day Adrenaline which included an abseil, two flying squirrels, and two canyon swings. I did the abseil fine but after the climb out the gorge, I was buggered! Flying squirrels were lame, but the canyon swing definitely woke me up again. The second climb out finished me off and I aborted the second jump. Much to my disappointment! I had been so looking forward to doing it and my fitness let me down. Loser!
The Zambezi was in full flood, the highest it's been in the last 60 years or something, so river rafting was out. We went down to the falls to see them but got totally drenched and couldn't see much. A few of the guys did a flight over the falls and the pics were incredible.
We did a booze cruise one night, which was good fun. The only wildlife I can vaguely remember was a pod of hippo's. Oh, and some monkeys which we fed bar snacks.
Our overland trip came to and end on the 3rd day there, so we packed our stuff up and moved into the Kingdom hotel, for a bit of luxury.
After sleeping on the floor for the best part of the last 3 weeks, it was very hard to get used to a proper bed again! Still, was great to have hot water and proper toilets!
With our overland trip over, we flew to Durban, where we have been stayed with Pippa's older sister. Our timing could not have been better too, as we managed to get tickets to the Sharks vs Brumbies game, only to watch the Sharks lose horribly. And then watch SA lose to Ausi in the cricket. Double crisis!
We did a long weekend up in the 'Berg', stayed in a cabin right by the Amphitheatre. Very scenic.
Sadly for Pips, we found out after a couple of blood tests that she caught Malaria somewhere along the line. She had been through the hots and colds for a couple of days before the docs could confirm what it was. Anyway, we got the treatment and she was fine after a couple of days. Blasted mosquito's!
The rest of the time in Durbs was mainly spent chilling out, visiting Pips old friends and going for drives round the area.
Our plan to max out of the beaches for two weeks was snubbed by some seriously bad weather just before we got there. Most of the beaches and shark nets had been destroyed. In fact they only got them up and going again a couple fo days before we left.
I think I've bored you enough now! The plan for the next leg of our world trip - South America - is to try and do more regular updates. I have no idea what internet is like over there so it could be a case of massive updates like this. Pain in the arse to read I know but it's the best we could do!
Pips and I are in London until the 24th April then we head into Lima, Peru. Bring - it - ON!
Hope all are well and live and kicking hard, until the next one, take it EAZZZZY!
Pete and Pips
Australia! The land where men are men and sheep are scared!
So for those 3 days of madness I would like to thank the Sydney crew of Steve, Ted, Fred, Mich, Mags, Ang, new edition Ed, and the others that joined in along the way. I had a great time and look forward to returning the favour the next time they pass through mud island looking for a 'quiet couple and thats it...!'
First stop was Byron Bay. I had loved this place last time I came through, although that was just a vague memory of a Goon box or ten (cheap nasty wine)! We only had one day and night there so we hit the beach for much of the morning, Goon box in hand of course, popped by the pub for a couple of the local brew on the way back to the hostel, and then decided as we are old farts now I 'nana'nap would do us good to allow us maximum party time that night. We got into bed at 5ish and woke up, almost late for our bus, the next morning!! Goon 1 Us 0.
Fraser Island - Awesome!!! I did it last time and this time round was just as cool. The weather wasn't the best, we did get rained on at crucial times - like putting up tents and dinner, and climbing Indian Heads to get the classic pic, and lunch on the first day, and, and, and! So yeah, it pretty much rained most of the time, but we did get some great sunny bits on the all important Lake McKenzie, Lake Wabby, and the old ship wreck on the beach. 
Of course as expected, Whitehaven Beach took the cake for being the highlight of the trip - unless of course we want to include 10 of us singing samba and Christmas tunes as we march round and round, drunk as farts in the boats hot-tub', and have the last man to find a seat when the singing stops go up to the front of the boat and sing 'my heart will go on''...
When there are drunk irishmen involved, you cannot write off anyform of debauchery!!! Nice one John, Shane, Marvin and James!!!
